But I Didn't Choose Him!
by SoftcoreOtaku
Summary: "We goddesses don't have nearly as much power over fate as the Hylians think we do!" The Golden Goddesses' notable arguments. Game should be obvious; not a crossover.
1. Free Will Debate

But I Didn't Choose Him!

A _Legend of Zelda_ fanfic

By SoftcoreOtaku

Disclaimer: _The Legend of Zelda_ is owned by Nintendo, which I am not.

Summary: "We goddesses don't have nearly as much power over fate as the Hylians think we do!" The Golden Goddesses' notable arguments. Game should be obvious. Surprisingly (for me) not a crossover.

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/\The Triforce has been stolen yet again…/\

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"Not again!"

"I choose the Ordonian goatherd!"

"I'll choose the princess… again."

"I'll give my piece to… What? Again?"

"Apparently evil hearts always desire your power over my wisdom and Farore's courage, Din."

"But this happens _every time_! We goddesses don't have nearly as much power as the Hylians think we do!"

"Sigh. Maybe if Farore hadn't given these people free will, our lives would be easier."

"Nayru!"

"Maybe so, but it'd be a lot more boring, too! It's not my fault!"

"It would be annoying to have to plan out everyone's lives, Nayru."

"… Good point."

"See? Wait… Did we just beat _you,_ the goddess of _wisdom,_ with _logic?_"

"Ha! We did, Din! Take that!"

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The plunnies attack me in my sleep XD

Review! The power of Din compels you!

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	2. I'm Not Evil!

Disclaimer: Sure, I own a copy of the game, but the rights to it? You've got to be kidding me. Of course not! If I did, the Golden Goddesses would get some character development!

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/\Farore's chosen hero, Link, saved Faron spring…/\

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"All right! That's my hero!"

"Yes, we know. You don't need to be the goddess of wisdom to recognize that pointy green hat."

"But you _are_ the goddess of wisdom!"

"That proves nothing, Farore!"

"Hey I don't even get to _choose_ my 'chosen one'! People are going to start thinking _I'm_ a bad guy just because the Triforce of Power always ends up in the hands of evildoers!"

"Ha ha! Your Triforce was taken and you're _power_less to stop it!"

"Farore! Don't be so immature! Din's upset as it is, you don't need to make it worse!"

"Sniff… It's not fair… sniff…"

"That's unnecessary, Din."

"But it's true! I, the goddess of power, am completely powerless! I have no say in who takes the Triforce, and my piece is always taken by the bad guy!"

"Um… Didn't we just discuss this? You know, right when the Triforce was stolen this time?"

"We did, Farore, but we went off on a tangent. Then you beat me with logic."

"Oh yeah…"

"Hello! Depressed goddess over here! Did you forget about me?"

"Okay, think of it this way. No one will think you are evil just because an evil heart possesses your piece of the Triforce. Remember the Gorons. They exhibit your traits, save, of course, your appearance, like the Zoras mirror mine. Now, has there ever been an evil Goron? I think not."

"Yeah. If any of us was evil based on that logic it'd be me. My Deku Scrubs have served the King of Evil before, after all."

"Okay, okay, you win, let's just watch _your_ heroes now."

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No comment. Just review. Please?

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	3. Our Own Names In Vain

Disclaimer: The goddesses are not mine.

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/\At no particular point in the game…/\

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"Power!"

"Courage!"

"Power!"

"Courage!"

_Not this again…_

"Power's better!"

"No, courage is!"

"Arrgh! Us, will you two shut up!"

"Us?"

"Yes, Din, us."

"Why 'us'?"

"Because, in this situation, a Hylian or someone of one of our other races would say something along the lines of 'Goddesses'. Since we _are_ the goddesses, and as such, we have no higher power whose name we can use in vain, I simply said 'us'."

"Ohhh. So you're using our own names in vain?"

"Exactly, Farore."

"I still don't get it."

"Never mind then, Din. The reader understands, at least."

"The reader?"

"We're 'all-powerful' goddesses. I believe we reserve the right to break the fourth wall."

"Oh, okay. Now what were we doing again?"

"We were fighting over which is better, courage or power. It's courage, by the way."

"No, it's power."

"Courage!"

"Power!"

"Courage!"

_*Sigh.*_

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Someone wanted more. The vorpal plot bunny that is my muse agreed with said person. This is for you, whoever you are!

... Nayru says to review. It's her only reward for enduring this.

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